CRAZY DREAM

Scene one
The first part took place at my grandparents' house.
Michelle was shrunk by Jay's device.
I tried to keep her safe (even had to pull her out of the mouth of a
killer red ant).
Jay came back from a climbing trip and put all this crap on the bed
(in my aunt Jesslyn's old room, no doubt) where I was trying to
protect her, thereby killing her.
He didn't care, and I fucking hated him forever; I mean, he was so
callous and disinterested in the fact that he killed one of my best
friends.
He went to go take a shower, and I don't recall ever hitting him, but
the words that I said to him, were BRUTAL, even for me...! I started
throwing out all his stuff.
We were no longer friends.
At the end of this scene, I hate Jay with all my soul. I begin the
search for "the time machine" to go back in time and fix all this.
Scene two
I appear at a building that is a conglomeration of some futuristic
city, broadway theater, and my old middle school. As I'm searching for
the time
Machine, I realize it's my birthday!
I walk in this store, and the owner and apparent old friend of mine,
Barack Obama, gives me a gift: a huge bowl pipe made out of porcelain
glass. It was beautiful.
The spoon was yellow and the rest of the body looked quilted with reds
and browns, maybe some orange, too.
Anyway, I thanked and hugged him, and planned on paying for it, but
something told me to keep searching for the time machine.
I ran out the store without saying a goodbye to Barack, when I saw
Michelle as a composite of herself AND Julia-Louis Dreyfuss...?
I asked her what happened and how she lived.
She said she didn't know but that she did a lot of climbing in grass
and swingsets.
It was then I realized why Jay was so detached from the whole thing.
He didn't just build a shrinking device, he built a human ant device,
one that would shrink you, but would also multiply your own strength
and endurance an hundred fold. That's how she survived. He wasn't in
the scene, but I forgave him.
Scene three
I run back towards Barack's headshop.
On the way, through various twists, turns, and rooms, I spy this man
who keeps ending up at every one of the stops I make. Very cute.
Older, stocky, gray, and he wants me. So I wink and he winks, which
obviously means sex in 30 mins. We talk and set a time to be alone.
Weird.
THEN, I spy another dude, of whom I work with, but don't really trust,
eying me, too. So, I'm thinking 3-sum. Whatever.
I enter Barack's store, with the intent to give him $20 for my
birthday gift. He declines, gives me the warmest hug in the world, and
I leave knowing that everything is gonna be perfect after this sex I'm
gonna have.
As I leave, an hour goes by before I realize that:
A. I couldn't find my two ménage-a-trois men, and
B. If that was the case, then this was probably all a dream, as I
immediately woke up.

Moral: fish sticks and milkhakes don't mix.

Sent from my iPhone.